Anyone living in a total fight –free zone is probably doing a lot of giving in,while people who live for the fight are missing what life’s really all about .Some top tips for fighting and winning.
• Choose Your Battles Wisely – Put any potential fight on a “cost benefit scale”to weigh what you’ll win by standing up-or lose by backing down.
• Listen UP-If you are yelling at the top of your lungs,you won’t be able to hear where others are coming from.
• Tune Into Your Own Emotions-Sometimes confronting others is a way of avoiding confronting things about yourself you’d rather not face.
• Stick With The Facts-Your friend’s late,your dad’s tactless or the teacher is incorrect.”Discuss what happened,”says a psychologist,”not what you think motivated it”.
• Avoid Name Calling-Stay away from “you always” or “you never “ or criticisms of the other persons character .Instead explain how they did,made you feel so.
• Speak Calmly-Yelling can get you even more upset,meaning you can not think or talk-straight.
• Create A Win-Win Outcome-Since compromise usually gives the best value on that cost/benefit scale,aim for a solution that meets some of the needs of both of you.
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