Whether the subject is friends or school/college there’s always going to be someone who feels they have the perfect solution to your problems.And they’re likely to insist on telling you what it is. It’s human behavior at its compulsive best.
We all do it. Think back to the last time you offered some suggestions, commonly known as advice. And it works both ways.Friends, family; even strangers often offer their words of wisdom to whoever crosses their path.
Why do we like reading advice columns? Why do we give advice? How should we do it, and when should we not? Well here’s some advice....
“I used to be my friend’s worst enemy, “admits reformed advice-giver shanti,18.”I thought everyone would be better if they just took my advice. I was always telling my friends what cloths looked good on them and how they should handle their parents or their parent or their friends. But in the end, people stopped wanting to talk to me.”
* Real Advice-This may happen to all advice-givers. So be careful! Parents especially guilty of advice-giving .By trying to save their kids from to save their kids from the troubles they’ve already experienced, they can sometimes overdo it by telling their children what to do. But, believe it or not parents do offer a lot of good advice.
* Good Advice-How should you respond when a friend comes to you for advice? The important things are not to judge and to be understanding. Remember that you can ever really know what it’s like to be in another person’s shoes. And if someone is turning to you for advice about something serious-like if a friend confides that she has an eating disorder –encourage her to turn to her parents or a trusted adult. Certain friend should hand over to an expert.
* Male/Female Advice-Do males and females differ in their tendencies to give advice? Only in manner and subject, the experts say. Females, especially mothers are typically turned to for advice. And women may be better able to give good advice in certain circumstances because they are socialized to appreciate anguish and doubt, and thus to offer compassion. Females are also more likely to give feeling –oriented advice, while guys, who are often trained to be instrumental and problem solvers, might be more likely to jump in and find practical solutions. People who always have advice to give have a need to feel powerful.
* Unwanted Advice-They have a need to change people, and a need to change their environment in order to live in it. In fact, the people who are the most in doubt about their own decisions are usually the most free about dishing out advice. The people who are most sure of their own existence, who are most secure in their choices, will have the least advice to give.Advice,especially unsolicited advice, is not only often unneeded and unwanted, it is usually inappropriate. Polite people only have one reason to give advice –because they’ve been asked. The reverse is also true. Impolite people give advice because they have not been asked. Advice requested or not, often falls on deaf ears.
* Useless Advice-The exchange of advice can be a part of social support. It can be a sweet piece of interaction; a valued part of life .The key is in the delivery. The best form of advice often comes in the form of listening. Most people already know the answers to their problems; Psychologists say .The just needs help in clarifying the solution and in learning to trust their gut feelings. Sometimes the very best”advice”you can give centers around not saying a word .Acting as a sounding board for a friend in need is often the most helpful role you can take on.
It is an awesome responsibility to give advice. There is not only one solution-there can be many, and it’s risky to offer any advice because you never know the whole story.
Posts
